Boundaries and Joy Delivered
Amazon just sent a catalog with toys in anticipation of the holidays. While it helped keep my son occupied for a few minutes, it also made me feel unsettled. Those of us of a certain age who grew up watching 60 Minutes will remember Andy Rooney, the loveable curmudgeon who went off at the end of the show. So imagine I’m a female Andy Rooney, and here I go off.
First of all, It’s OCTOBER. Let Halloween be here without the overlapping craving for candy AND toys. Let us celebrate Thanksgiving too. I know this is a losing battle that gets worse each year. One day I’ll wake up, and it’ll be Christmas in May.
Boundaries. If this year has taught us anything (and it has taught so much), it’s that you’ve got to take care of yourself. Part of that includes boundaries. We’ve had conversations already about family traditions that have been impacted this year, travel plans canceled, etc. Difficult conversations. So while we are all warmed up, let’s have another difficult conversations: gifts for kids.
Consider practicing the conversations, emails, texts you need to practice with loved ones who might be purchasing toys for your kids. It’s your home that these items will be delivered to, so how do you want to direct the traffic? Wait until there’s a pile up, or install some signals. Signals could sound like, “We love memberships (museum, zoo etc.), and since X lost his/her job, it will be difficult to afford them going forward. We’d appreciate it if you would consider gifting memberships instead of toys.” This will not work for all. Putting some time into thinking about how to approach it is worth it though.
Before having the conversation(s), consider the experience of the giver(s). Maybe sending toys would make them feel like they are helping at a time when they feel isolated and not helpful. Maybe there are other options to fill their needs for connection. Consider creative options like Memoir For Me.
So much joy has been canceled this year already for kids. For everyone. I’m not advocating taking a hard line on gifts. Some joy will be delivered indeed, if we are fortunate. First, I want to enjoy some candy…